It's going to 1am and i am still awake ._. I think i am going to become an owl already. Sleep in the day, wake up in the night. I have been watching dramas to pass time. Seriously, i am super bored. I have been waiting for my agent to call me. Ever since you left me, my phone is just like a calling device, cold blooded machinary. I seldom SMS, i seldom make phone calls and i think handphone for me now is just a temporary tool. I could go MIA anytime without it :D

I watched this anime and it's says
:Do whats you make to be happy,
:Be with who who makes you laugh,
:laugh as much as you breathe,
:live as long as possible.

Somehow, i find it contradicting for me to understand. Is there eternal happiness at all? One of my friends said was true, many people said there will be forever. But where is the forever? Here, or there?

Another thing, i believe god is fair. Since there are 11.11 appear twice in a day which means everyone should deserve a second chance. But... Where's mine? Do i have a second chance?

What should i do? Continue to be fake person and smile infront of everyone even when i am not happy? I bet no one understands what i am going through right now. I am really tired. I want to close my eyes and forget everything.

God.. What should i do?


People say i am a retard and foolish, but this is my true love for you. I don't think you will know.